Serengeti, Tanzania, Africa 1897.
"...but life had different plans for me, as it was proved later on, when my wealthy old master decided to take me along as his hunting companion on an African safari.
One day I started chasing rabbits and before long, discovered I was lost. Wandering about, I noticed a leopard heading rapidly in my direction with the intention of having me for lunch.
As you can imagine, I was scared to death. All I could think of at that time was "Oh, shag! I'm in deep doo-doo!". But common sense prevailed. If I wanted to survive I had to act quickly. I looked around and saw some bones on the ground close by, I immediately settled down to chew on the bones with my back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard was about to leap, I exclaimed loudly enough so he could hear me, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
When he heard this, the young leopard halted his attack in mid-strike, I could see the look of terror that came over him as he slinked away into the trees. "Whew!", I could hear him say, "That was close! That old Westie nearly had me!"
Well, that would have been all if it wasn't for a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree. Apparently, he figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he went. And I saw him heading after the leopard in order to catch up with him, spill the beans and strike a deal for himself with the leopard for his own protection.
I could see when the young leopard told him (I am good at reading lips from a distance) "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!". The cat —who was irate, furious at being made a fool of— was coming at me at great speed with the monkey on his back. "What am I going to do now?" I asked myself, knowing there wasn't too much I could do to stop him other than by being smart and keeping on playing the game to my advantage. I made an effort to look collected. I calmly sat down with my back to my attackers, pretending I didn't see them, and just when I knew they got close enough to hear I shouted:
"Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!...."
Moral of this story:
Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Bullhockey and brilliance only come with age and experience.
(sigh) If I could have at least one third the smarts my ancestor had, I would have already caught that squirrel.
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